Priorities

I don't know what mine are right now. I found out a little bit ago that my grandmother passed away this weekend -- peacefully, of old age, in her sleep -- and that the funeral is this weekend. My dad is flying in from Nigeria and my mom (although she is not my grandmother's daughter, but her ex-daughter in-law, my mom was very close with her, called her Mom, and spoke with her every month) is thinking about flying to the funeral, though I think her only worry is that she won't be welcome by my Dad's family. I asked if I could go, if I wanted to and she of course said yes, but I haven't decided if I want to go yet. I have to give her an answer by tomorrow.

The problem is, and these are very selfish reasons, 6 of my friends' birthdays are this weekend, there's a huge halloween party that I've been looking forward to for months and I don't want to miss halloween either, and I haven't seen just about any of my friends for more than 5 minutes in two weeks. I was also DYING for a drama free fun weekend. I also have a lot of homework to do this weekend, on the computer, and I don't have a laptop, so i can't do it while away. (solution: I do it this week. I know, I'm selfish) And it'd cost my mom a lot of money to pay for tickets this late. And that's not even a very good reason, because I know she will, in a heartbeat.

BUT if I went, I would be at the funeral of the only grandparent I ever felt slightly close to. And I'd see my Dad and be able to comfort my Mom.

Family vs. Fun

I feel horrible for not wanting to go. I should go. I am sad she passed away, but I've also been expecting it for awhile. She was in her late eighties. She was an amazing woman. She was my last grandparent alive, as well.

I don't know I don't know I don't know.